God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And, when they were all there, God said: "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth, so I've decided to destroy it.

The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice."

So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced: "I've got good news and I've got bad news The good news is that there is a God. The bad news is that He's going to destroy the Earth in one week."

Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced: "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. The worse news is that He's going to destroy the Earth in a week."

Bill Gates, meanwhile, called all of his programmers, marketing experts, and administrators together and announced: "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the 3 most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."